Self Inquiry: “Who am I?” - Part II
By Chun Ko Lin
This continuation of our topic, although much shorter, delves deeper into the same subject with some new details. Therefore, it's easier to face this continuation after reading the previous first part of this title, where we explore new possible perspectives on ourselves. Like the previous text, this one is also only intended to inspire readers to create their own views on the topics mentioned.
Last time, in observing ourselves through analysis, we started from the body-mind organism and ended up with awareness. Today, we'll once again look at the magic called Homo sapiens, but we'll take the reverse path, starting with awareness, which we know is always present in each of us.
We said that without awareness, we wouldn't know we exist, nor would we know about everything within us and around us. Only through awareness do we know our thoughts, emotions, decisions, bodily sensations, our body, and everything that comes from our environment through perceptions.
But what is the nature of this awareness? It is the finest, intangible, elusive quality of our nature. In fact, it is also the finest fundamental quality of the entire universe. If it weren't a quality of the universe, how could it be part of our nature? From where or how could we be aware if awareness wasn't a quality of all existence?
Awareness is the unchanging characteristic of the present moment. Our thoughts, on the other hand, come and go, and we never know which thought will follow the one passing through us right now. The same goes for feelings – we don't know when a feeling will engulf us or which feeling will be next to flood this body-mind organism. Change and movement are constant, with all the cells in our body and all the perceptions through which we experience the external world, coming as life unfolds in our environment.
So, that awareness, or our true "Self," gives us the impression of the reality of existence because it constantly brings events happening every moment of life into awareness.
Awareness and the Body
Let's start with awareness of the body, the most conspicuous part of our nature. We see and feel the body through our bodily senses and perceptions. Our eyes can see a good part of our body, and through a mirror, we can see the whole body.
But what actually happens? Our bodily eye is just an instrument that transmits light waves, and through the nervous system, these waves are transformed into the image we see. Awareness is what witnesses the image we are looking at. The same goes for all other perceptions through hearing, taste, touch, etc. Without awareness, we don't know what our perception organs project into our minds.
Some old self-development traditions have created and developed systems of body programming through repetition, aiming to program various desired characteristics of the body. Through these traditional processes, new abilities of the organism can be developed, body strength can be enhanced, health resilience can be strengthened, etc. Some traditions focus on speed, strength, and automatism of movement and so on.
One of the characteristics is developed in almost all traditional self-development of body systems is bodily calmness and relaxation, which are supporting the possibility of a broader range of awareness.
What happens with bodily sensations? Let's take an example. Through bodily functions, there are times when we feel the need to eat for the sustenance of the body. This is a bodily function that awareness also witnesses.
We say: "I am hungry," which can be a good way of communicating that bodily situation, but we identify us with our body through that statement. "I" is just awareness, a subject that is aware that something is happening somewhere. The same goes for all other bodily sensations, from painful to bodily pleasant.
Sometimes we correctly say we feel hunger or someone might say, "My body is signaling hunger," although even then, we think, "I am hungry." Still, AWARENESS is never hungry; it is only aware of what is happening in this body-mind organism.
Awareness and Emotions
Emotions come and go, and we don't know when and what the next one will be. Yet, we still say, "I am happy." Although awareness only brings to light the current emotion that has surfaced in the body-mind organism, we identify with that emotion; "I am happy," instead of saying, "Joy has embraced me," or "Joy has come."
Awareness is neither happy nor sad; it just witnesses what happens in the body-mind organism and the environment.
With some strong so-called negative emotions like fear, hatred, anger, etc., there is a narrowing of the scope of our awareness. Therefore, in line with that, some traditional spiritual schools develop emotional healing techniques that facilitate opening a broader scope of awareness.
Awareness and Thoughts
The passage of our thoughts across the canvas of our AWARENESS gives us the feeling, "I think this." Although we don't know which thought will be next to pass through the screen of our awareness, we still have a strong impression and feeling that "I am thinking these thoughts." Even the thought, "I am thinking this," falls under the category of thoughts or the mind, and it is witnessed by awareness, the real subject that observes everything, including our thoughts.
Sometimes life circumstances impose the need for us to think, which is actually an initiative coming from outside our control. However, when we think in such a situation, thoughts come, and we don't actually know which will be next. We only become aware of them one by one as they come. Of course, then identify with the flow of thoughts and say, "I am thinking this," as if we have control over the process of determining which will be the next thought.
Although we don't know which will be the next thought, we still have that false sense of authorship and identification with our mind. We have the feeling that we are the creators of these thoughts, even though they come according to some unknown laws of the mind.
Awareness or our true "Self" only witnesses the flow of thoughts passing through our minds. Many unpredictable mechanisms of the mind, influenced by numerous circumstances, create thoughts that awareness then only brings to light.
However, thoughts often trap us so much in their movement that all other possibilities disappear for us, thus narrowing the scope of our awareness. Therefore, some traditional spiritual schools use various techniques on the mental level to facilitate opening broader scopes of awareness.
Awareness and Decisions
What about decisions, which are some kind of mix of thoughts and feelings? Our minds make countless decisions every day, and we say, "I have decided" this or that. Although "I," meaning awareness, only brings to light the decision that happened in our mind, resulting from numerous influences and laws on our physical, emotional, and mental planes of existence.
We don't say, here comes this decision to me; instead, we believe, "I have decided." However, "I" or awareness is only an observer and a witness; it does not make decisions.
In Conclusion or for a New Beginning, What about All This?
For those who want to get to know themselves, the answer to the above question could be further explored individually, discovering and developing horizons of their own understanding.
Do I decide when and which emotions will engulf and carry me? Am I my emotions? How is it for other people?
Can I control in advance which and what decisions I will make? Can I see how decisions that I become aware of are happening? Am I my decisions? How is it for other people?
Can I control in advance when and what I will remember during the day? Am I my thoughts? How is it for other people?
Do I sometimes have entirely different reactions in similar situations, and why? How is it for other people?
What is this I? Who am I?
Regarding the topic itself, "Know Yourself," the fundamental thing is expressed in the saying, "He who seeks shall find."
For some people, working on self-inquiry techniques is attractive. Some respond to individual self-work techniques, while others prefer group techniques.